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Nine Tips For Naming Your Fantasy Football Team

If you’re not going to have the best team in your league, at least have the best team name.

  1. Be original. Yes, Steve’s Breaston’s is hilarious, but that has been used by almost everyone in existence for their team name for the last 5 years. This means that you probably shouldn’t google ‘fantasy football team names’ and don’t recycle team names from past years. Any of the Mike Ditka’s or Dick Butkus’ names are just tired. You guys are better than that.
  2. Follow @rumfordjohnny on twitter. He’ll hand out hilarious team names on a consistent basis. Some examples: “Miles Austin is The Muscle Crampster”, “Itta Bitta Pitta Committa”, “A-Flaccolypse Now”, & “Isaiah Pead in the Brodney Pool”
  3. Player’s names should be on your team. This is probably personal preference, but it seems pretty important that if you include a player name in your teams name, that player should probably be on your team. So if you want your team name to be “Arian Foster Care”, you should pony up that first round pick for the Texans running back. When you are trying to set your team name, in the preseason, look at your roster and let that mind go wild.
  4. Read Matthew Berry’s new book “A Fantasy Life”. Included in the book are some of the funniest team names in this history of fake football-dom.
  5. Don’t be afraid to change it up midseason, especially to goad your opponents. As far as I’m aware, most leagues don’t have a rule that you have to keep the same name all season long. If you’re play someone who just lost Ray Rice for the week to a low ankle sprain, why not roll “Cooked Rice” out as your team name?
  6. Include the history of your league in your team name if you can; either that or show some real hubris. Nothing is more irritating than playing a guy whose team name is “League Name X Champion 2013”. If you can put someone on tilt with your name, then you need to be doing it!
  7. Rotoworld FB is your friend. The player blurbs cooked up by Nick Mensio, Patrick Daugherty and company normally have some pretty dry humor in them, or hook you up with hilarious little nuggets, like the information that Norv Turner’s real name is Norval.
  8. If it doesn’t make you laugh for at least 35 seconds the first time you think of it, then you need to try harder.
  9. And lastly, my loyal readers, here are a couple suggestions from yours truly for the 2013-14 season:
  • Le’Veon Me Alone
  • You’re Jenkins My Chain
  • Cup Spillereth Over
  • Fortune Favors The Boldin
  • Jamaal My Children
  • Nick Toon At Nite
  • Hankerson For Whoop Ass.

About Davis Mattek

Davis Mattek is a 20 year old English major at Kansas State University who founded his own website, Sports Wunderkind, late in 2012. In addition to running his own site, Davis is a full-time contributor at Fantasysports.org and a part time contributor at Dynasty League Football, The Fantasy Fix and Rotoviz.

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